“Pakkethu vittu Amsavalli magalleku reception vechange, appo unnekom vekinom!”
“Sonthokarengge kepangge yen reception/dinner vekille’nu”
“Athe vecha than nambelekku perumme”
“Terille, reason ille, aana veche aagenum!”
For Malaysian Indians, it has been a norm for married couples to have a separate wedding reception (usually at night) in a bigger and grand scale. It can be a reception held only by the bride or bridegroom or even a combined one. I have to admit that there are many valid reasons for the couples to have one such as the distant location of both families, expectation of massive crowd, wee hours wedding ceremony and so on.
However, I would like to stress on a particular category of couples who will have no idea on why they are having a wedding reception. These couples would usually be so eager to have one but when asked why they decided to have it, they will definitely be staring blank at each other. These couples’ only intention would be to either gain some fame, compete with others or just having it for the sake of having it.
There’s a proverb in Malay that goes like the following: “Sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna“. Irregardless of how we knock some sense on one’s head, they will still stick to their very own priciple; do first, regret later. If you (and your partner) are kind of broke, own a not-so-gempak car, yet to own a property, working 9~6 earning peanuts and in the midst of planning to have your wedding, please consider having a single wedding event (unless you have some valid reasons like mentioned above) and don’t bother wasting your time impressing 1000
strangers guests in which half of them might not even know your existence until your wedding date. A single wedding event can be categorised as a wedding ceremony that is being held in a temple with a massive crowd or held in a hall that is large enough to accommodate decent number of guests.
That being said, here are some general rules of thumb in getting married for newbies:
1) Do not take any kind of loans just to have the best wedding reception
This is definitely a BIG NO-NO. Don’t plunge into debt for the rest of your life just for a ‘oru naal kuuthu‘ and for the sake of impressing your guests. I’ve heard enough stories on how many couples are suffering post-marriage abuses and sleepless nights caused by Ah-longs and debt collectors. ONLY SPEND THE MONEY WITHIN YOUR BUDGET!
2) Suggestions are welcomed, but you and your partner should be the final decision-makers
Unless the whole reception is funded by your family members or someone else, you and your partner should be solely responsible for the budgetting and disbursement of money. Tips: Create an Excel sheet in Google Docs and give the permission to yourself and your partner. Create four columns for ‘Tasks, Deposit Paid, Full Amount, Balance Payable”. For every cent that comes out from your savings for wedding purposes, please update the sheet concurrently.
3) Research and survey properly
Please allocate some time to survey for the best caterers, entertainers, DJ’s, photographers and so on. Lately, we’ve seen many cases of married couples being cheated by a so-called “professional photographer” who went missing together with their wedding photos, totally untracable. Imagine how would you feel after going through a hectic zombified week tying the knot in the end just to know that your wedding memories are nowhere to be seen the week after? Dayuummmmnnnn.
4) Talk openly to your spouse and his/her family members
This, my friends, is the most important thing. By talking out and expressing your views, there is a chance that your views might influence and motivate others to think from your perspective. For instance, parents of ponnu might say that: “Wedding reception is a MUST! Athuke ungge side oru RM30k kudungge!” You, as the mappilai, could simply barge in and tell them:
Uncle, ille uncle, nangge oru house vanggulam nu plan potturkom, so we are planning to invest some of our savings into that. Additionally, we also plan to invest in a Europe-tour honeymoon and do some massive shopping over there. Yenggelekku ithu than santhosam
Fact is, not many mappilais have the balls to talk like that. Again, let me reiterate that the example given above is merely for those who are planning to have a wedding reception without any valid reason. At the same time, I won’t deny the fact that there are many parents out there who understand our intention and give us the freedom to decide our marriage life.
Nalla yosingge, nalla plan panungge. If you are running out of time, I totally understand but please try to plan wisely and not emotionally. Do tons of research and calculations on how you could save cost on every aspects. Talk to some friends about it or you could even ask us if you needed some advise (heck I’m not a genius but at least I can share my experience). Necessities and priorities dear readers, it’s all about necessities and priorities.
Ithe padichiyom, ningge poi loan yeduthe, kalyanam panni, approm kastham pattu vanthu complain paningge naa, I only have one message for you:
This is just a teaser post to kickstart our M1 articles and there will definitely be a part 2 of this soonest.
Please support us by clicking on the LIKE/SHARE buttons in this post. 🙂